SETH: OK. I need to say off the bat that I have not seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but I have read the book. That’s a joke. There is no book. I have read plenty of reviews though…and most are not pleased with Mr. Bay. The Officer Winslow Society’s own Josh reviewed the movie and had this to say:
“It’s a half an hour of entertainment in a 2.5 hour film. It’s just amazing how there can be so many effects and so much star power combined with this length, and there be nothing there.”
That is mild compared to what others are saying. Metacritic has the movie sitting at a score of 35/100, indicating generally negative reviews out of its 35 counted reviews. Rotten Tomatoes has the movie at 18/100 based on its “Top Critics” review. When all reviews are counted (198 reviews), the score only jumps to 20/100.
Things get even nastier when some more individual reviews are considered. Harry, possibly the biggest nerd ever, at Ain’t It Cool News is asking people not to support the movie financially. He had this to say:
“The film is padded by an hour of completely unnecessary, worthless, offensive and repugnant sequences that do nothing but tread water. Be it the family dogs f-ing, twice. An extended sequence of Mom hopped up on pot brownies on a reefer madness binge. The well talked about racist foul-mouthed robots that are built in monkey proportions, have a big shiny gold tooth and do nothing to advance the story an inch. It’s almost like Michael Bay showed the script to George Lucas and Uncle George let loose with another of his awesomely inappropriate animated racial slurs.”
HAHAHAHA! You KNOW a movie has to be bad if a reviewer has to pull in George Lucas to get his point across. BOOM, BOOM, POW!
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone says:
“Transformers 2 has a shot at the title Worst Movie of the Decade.”
Jason Nicholl of Nuke the Fridge says:
“There are a number of bad films out there. But even when filmmakers completely miss the mark, I usually at least feel like they tried. This film had an astronomical budget, all of the resources available, and it feels like it was an afterthought in the minds of its makers. I am seriously offended by this trash and so should everyone who pays for this. This is a slap in the face to all of humanity!”
Lastly, Roger Ebert, Mr. Movie Critic himself, says:
” ‘Transformer: Revenge of the Fallen’ is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.”
All of this is punctuated with Facebook status updates that say things like, “I want my money back” and a Facebook/Flixster rating of 3 out of 5 stars. This is from the application that generally has people rating movies at 4 out of 5 stars before the it is even released.
All of this kind of makes me want to see it, but I think I will just stick with “Transmorphers: Fall of Man“. This movie, brought to you by the same geniuses behind “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus”, envisions what Transformers would be like if the Autobots took the form of a Ford Taurus or a Geo Tracker. Note the “Run as fast as you can…” scene at 00:25 seconds.
Still want more Transformers talk? Check out the Top 10 Most Confusing Things about Transformers: ROTF, nerd.